Experiencing a Breakup? These 20 Pointers Will Help You Move On

When the status of being someone’s everything unexpectedly shifts to barely being a contact in their phone, the emotional whiplash can be profound. It’s a raw, disorienting experience that leaves you feeling lost.

This blog is here to provide 20 grounded, manageable steps for those navigating the aftermath of a breakup, helping to reclaim peace and clarity.

1. Let yourself fall apart—for a while

In the immediate aftermath of a breakup, it’s okay to let yourself crumble. Embrace the avalanche of emotions without the pressure to quickly rebound. Cry your heart out, indulge in comfort food, and allow yourself the space to express your grief.

Everyone’s healing timeline is personal, and there’s no rush to “get over it.” By acknowledging your pain, you’re taking the first step towards healing. Emotions are messy, and that’s perfectly fine.

Permit yourself these moments without guilt. The freedom to feel and express is liberating, paving the way for genuine recovery. Remember, it’s about progress, not perfection—give yourself grace.

2. Mute or unfollow them—yes, even if it feels extreme

Social media can act as salt in the wound when dealing with a breakup. Seeing your ex-partner’s updates can trigger unwanted emotions and set back your healing process.

Muting or unfollowing them, even if it feels extreme, is a necessary step to protect your peace. This is about creating a digital boundary to give yourself the mental space needed to heal.

By removing constant reminders of them from your feeds, you can focus on yourself and your growth. This isn’t about being petty; it’s about taking care of your mental well-being.

3. Delete the “what if” text drafts

Drafting messages you’ll never send can become a way of holding onto the past. Those “what if” texts serve as a lingering attachment, keeping you tethered to what was.

Deleting these drafts symbolizes a bold step towards letting go. It’s a declaration that you are ready to move forward, even if a part of you still wonders.

The truth is, you already know the answers to those questions. By hitting delete, you’re choosing clarity over confusion, embracing the unknown with courage.

4. Write down the things they never gave you

Reflecting on unmet needs from a past relationship provides invaluable insight. Write down everything you desired but never received. This isn’t about blame—it’s about understanding your own needs.

Seeing these unfulfilled desires on paper can clarify what you truly value in a relationship. It’s a gentle wake-up call to prioritize these aspects in future connections.

This exercise is empowering. It shifts focus from loss to self-awareness, fostering a deeper understanding of what will nurture you moving forward.

5. Say the ugly truths out loud

Acknowledging harsh truths is a cathartic release. Speak aloud the realities of your past relationship—the ones you’ve been hesitant to accept.

Confronting these truths can be painful, but it’s essential for healing. It clears the fog of denial and opens the path to acceptance.

Vocalizing these realities helps you process them more deeply, transforming them from silent burdens into stepping stones toward recovery.

6. Change your environment—even just a little

Shifting your surroundings can refresh your mindset. Even small changes, like rearranging furniture or adding new decor, can invigorate your space and spirit.

Your environment mirrors your emotional state. By creating a new physical setting, you signal to yourself that you’re ready to embrace change.

This isn’t about erasing memories, but about making room for new experiences and growth. A fresh environment can inspire a fresh perspective, sparking joy and creativity.

7. Stop checking if they’ve moved on

The urge to check on your ex-partner’s life post-breakup is strong, but it often leads to unnecessary pain. Shifting focus from their new life to your well-being is crucial.

Their journey is no longer intertwined with yours, and that’s okay. Accepting this separation allows you to focus on rebuilding your narrative.

Redirect your energy towards personal growth and self-discovery. This small act of letting go can significantly lighten your emotional load.

8. Let your people show up for you

Lean on your support network during this time. Letting friends and family show up for you, even when you feel like a burden, is essential.

These connections provide emotional nourishment and perspective, reminding you that you’re not alone in this healing process.

Allowing others to be there for you fosters deeper bonds and can bring unexpected joy and comfort.

9. Create a breakup playlist—for crying and for walking it off

Music can be a powerful healer. Curate a playlist that caters to both the tears and the triumphs of moving on.

Songs that resonate with your emotions validate your feelings, offering solace and understanding. They remind you that you’re not alone in your experiences.

Balance these with uplifting tracks that motivate you to get up and move. This dual-purpose playlist is your companion in both reflection and action.

10. Do something you always had to downplay in that relationship

Rediscovering passions that were sidelined in your relationship is liberating. Dive into an activity or interest that you had to downplay.

Whether it’s painting, dancing, or any other pursuit, this is your opportunity to reconnect with yourself and your passions.

By embracing what was once diminished, you reclaim a part of yourself, celebrating individuality and self-expression.

11. Make peace with the version of you who stayed too long

Understanding and forgiving the part of you that lingered in the relationship longer than necessary is crucial. This version of you was simply doing your best with the knowledge and emotions at hand.

Offer compassion to your past self, recognizing that staying is often easier than leaving. This acceptance is a testament to your growth and understanding.

Making peace with this aspect allows you to move forward without regret, focusing instead on the strength it took to eventually choose differently.

12. Read texts you’d never want to send

Occasionally, the unsent messages we create during emotional turmoil are best left unread. But revisiting them can provide closure.

Read these texts as a reminder of why they were never sent—sometimes, the act of writing is cathartic enough.

Deleting them signifies a conscious choice to let go, permitting yourself to move past the need for external validation.

13. Avoid romanticizing the good times

It’s tempting to dwell on the golden moments of a past relationship, but doing so often masks the full picture. Remember that the good times were only part of the story.

By not allowing nostalgia to overshadow reality, you maintain a balanced perspective, which helps in truly moving on.

Focus on the lessons learned, both the heartwarming and the heart-wrenching, as they mold a wiser, more resilient you.

14. Don’t rush into healing—just stay in motion

Healing is not a race, and progress doesn’t always mean leaps and bounds. It’s about consistent motion, even if it’s just a gentle walk.

Being active, both physically and emotionally, keeps you engaged with life, helping to gradually rebuild your spirit.

Recognize the value in small steps. Each one is a victory, contributing to the mosaic of your recovery journey.

15. Put their things away when you’re ready, not when people say you should

Grief is personal, and so is the decision to put away mementos of a relationship. Do it when your heart, not others’ expectations, feels right.

This act of putting away is symbolic, representing a step towards closure and new beginnings.

Listen to your instincts. When you feel ready, you’ll know it’s time to create space for what lies ahead.

16. Let people love you in ways they couldn’t

Opening up to new forms of affection can be daunting after a breakup. Let others love you in ways that were unavailable in your past relationship.

This isn’t about replacement; it’s about receiving and appreciating different expressions of care and support.

Embrace these moments as they come. They are gifts that affirm your worth and the endless possibilities of love.

17. Set a routine that makes you feel human again

A structured routine can anchor you during turbulent times. Establish daily habits that bring comfort and a sense of normalcy.

Simple acts like making coffee, journaling, or morning stretches can ground you, offering small doses of stability.

These routines help rebuild your identity, reminding you of who you are outside the relationship.

18. Get your heart rate up

Physical activity is a potent antidote for emotional distress. Engaging in exercise releases endorphins, boosting your mood naturally.

Whether it’s jogging, dancing, or yoga, find an activity that gets your heart pumping and brings joy.

Movement reconnects you with your body, reminding you of your vitality and resilience.

19. Write the version of the story that you believe now

Rewriting your personal narrative post-breakup is empowering. Reflect on the relationship from your current perspective, acknowledging growth and lessons learned.

This exercise offers clarity, solidifying your understanding of the past and its impact on your present.

It’s a chance to redefine your story, highlighting the resilience and insights gained along the way.

20. Start imagining a future where this isn’t the main chapter

Envisioning a future beyond the breakup grants hope and direction. Picture possibilities that excite and inspire you.

This forward-thinking mindset helps shift focus from what was to what can be, reminding you that life holds endless opportunities.

You are the author of your next chapter, and this is just the beginning of a new narrative.e