Experts Offer 18 Strategies for Becoming a Better Friend

Being a good friend requires intentional effort, and while most of us want to be better, no one teaches us how.

Here are 18 expert-backed ways to enhance your friendships, turning them from surface-level to deeply meaningful connections.

1. Remembering the little things they tell you

Remembering the little things your friends share with you is like crafting a mosaic of your bond. It’s not just about birthdays; it’s about embracing their quirks, fears, and victories that create a deeper connection. Picture the joy in your friend’s eyes when you recall a seemingly trivial detail they mentioned weeks ago. This act shows genuine interest and care, making them feel valued.

You don’t need a perfect memory, just a conscious effort to note down or mentally highlight those snippets of conversation. It’s these small acknowledgments that build a tapestry of trust and understanding over time.

Imagine the warmth of a cozy cafe where stories are shared, and you are the friend who listens with intent. This conscious attentiveness reassures them that they’re not alone on their journey, fostering an unspoken promise of support and camaraderie.

2. Checking in without needing a crisis to do it

Proactively checking in on your friends without waiting for a crisis is like watering a plant regularly to see it flourish. Picture a sunny afternoon when you casually call your friend, asking how they’ve been, without any particular reason. This gesture shows that your attention isn’t tied to emergencies but to genuine care and interest in their well-being.

Regular check-ins can strengthen your connection, weaving a pattern of reliability and thoughtfulness. It’s about letting your friends know that you think of them, even when life is calm and ordinary. This kind of friendship is nourishing, reminding them they’re cherished during both the highs and lows of life’s journey.

3. Celebrating their wins without turning it into your story

Supporting a friend’s achievements without overshadowing them is an art that enriches the bond you share. It’s about clinking glasses in celebration without diverting the spotlight to your own similar experiences.

By genuinely reveling in their achievements, you underline their importance in your life. This selfless act of acknowledgment strengthens your friendship and reflects your supportive nature.

Picture the joy on your friend’s face as they realize their victories are celebrated, not overshadowed. This approach fosters a relationship where mutual growth is cherished, and each person’s journey is honored with sincerity.

4. Listening without offering immediate solutions

Listening without jumping to solutions creates a sanctuary for them to express freely. Sometimes, they don’t need an answer; they crave understanding and a non-judgmental ear.

By focusing on their words, rather than formulating a response, you offer validation and empathy. This practice enriches your friendship, building a foundation of trust where they feel heard and valued. It’s in these moments that your friendship deepens, rooted in genuine empathy and patience, allowing them to find their way forward.

5. Being honest when something’s off—instead of ghosting

Navigating friendship’s rough patches with honesty, rather than avoidance, strengthens the core of your relationship. Rather than ghosting, you lean into the tension, proving your commitment to transparency and growth.

This candid approach fosters a resilient bond, where problems are met with understanding, not silence. It encourages open dialogue, making way for smoother communication and deeper connection.

By showing you value the friendship enough to confront discomfort, you lay the groundwork for a more authentic and enduring relationship.

6. Respecting their boundaries, even when it’s inconvenient

Respecting boundaries, even when inconvenient, shows that you honor their autonomy and needs. It’s about understanding that closeness doesn’t equate to control.

By embracing their boundaries, you create a safe space where they can be themselves without fear of judgment or pressure. Your friendship thrives on mutual respect and understanding, becoming a refuge rather than a restraint.

This mutual respect fosters a sense of security, letting both of you breathe freely within the friendship’s embrace.

7. Showing up when it matters—even if it’s just by text

In the warmth of a dimly lit room, imagine typing a heartfelt message to a friend who needs support. Showing up when it matters can be as simple as sending a text that resonates like a comforting embrace. Even from afar, your presence is felt, a reminder that they’re not alone.

This gesture, small yet significant, shows that you prioritize them, even amidst your busyness. It’s about making your presence known, offering comfort and solidarity at crucial moments.

These small acts of showing up weave a tapestry of support, proving that friendship transcends physical boundaries and is nurtured through thoughtful connection.

8. Giving space without guilt-tripping

In a serene landscape, imagine walking alongside a friend, yet giving them the breathing space they need. Friendship thrives when space isn’t met with guilt but with understanding and respect. It’s about allowing them to walk their path without feeling tethered by expectations.

Giving space strengthens trust, showing you value their need for solitude and reflection. This understanding fosters a relationship where both can grow independently yet remain connected.

By granting them this freedom, you cultivate an environment where they can flourish, confident in your unwavering support and trust.

9. Asking how they’re doing—and being okay with the real answer

In a quiet cafe, picture the moment you sincerely ask your friend how they’re doing, ready to embrace whatever truth follows. This question, simple yet profound, opens a gateway to a deeper connection, where masks are shed, and authenticity reigns.

Being okay with the real answer shows emotional maturity and care, allowing them to express without fear of judgment. It deepens your friendship, reinforcing trust and empathy.

This practice transforms casual conversation into meaningful dialogue, strengthening the bond with each honest exchange, fostering a friendship that values depth over comfort.

10. Not keeping emotional score

In friendship, imagine a balance scale that symbolizes equality, free from the weight of emotional scorekeeping. Not keeping score is about valuing the relationship over petty calculations, focusing on genuine connection rather than tallying exchanges.

This practice nurtures a balanced friendship, where acts of kindness flow naturally and without expectation. It’s about embracing the ebb and flow of giving and receiving, trusting in the reciprocity of your bond.

This freedom strengthens your relationship, creating a harmonious space where affection is given freely, unhindered by unnecessary tallying.

11. Apologizing when you’ve hurt them, without excuses

In a serene garden setting, picture the moment you look into your friend’s eyes, offering an apology without excuses. Apologizing sincerely acknowledges the pain caused and shows your commitment to mending the rift.

This act of vulnerability and accountability strengthens your friendship, demonstrating that you value their feelings over your ego. It opens the door for healing and deeper understanding.

By taking responsibility, you cultivate a friendship where honesty and growth are cherished, paving the way for a resilient bond.

12. Letting them evolve without making it weird

Friendship, like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis, should embrace growth with grace. Letting your friend evolve without making it awkward honors their journey and individuality. It’s about celebrating their transformation, recognizing that growth doesn’t equate to abandonment.

By supporting their evolution, you foster a dynamic friendship that adapts and thrives alongside change. This acceptance allows both of you to flourish, respecting each other’s paths.

This understanding strengthens your bond, nurturing a friendship that thrives on mutual respect and admiration for each other’s journey.

13. Knowing when to give advice—and when to just nod

In the cozy warmth of a living room, imagine sitting with a friend, knowing when to nod gently, offering solace through silence. Understanding when advice is needed versus when a listening ear suffices is key to nurturing friendship.

This balance demonstrates emotional intelligence and respect for their autonomy, letting them lead their narrative. It’s about being present, offering guidance only when sought.

This discernment enriches your friendship, underscoring trust and empathy, and creates a supportive environment where they can be themselves.

14. Not making them chase your attention

Amid a lively gathering, imagine a friend who doesn’t have to chase your attention, your smile welcoming and inclusive. Friendship shouldn’t feel like a game of tag, where one constantly reaches for connection.

By being present and attentive, you affirm their importance, making them feel seen and valued. This presence nurtures a balanced relationship, where both feel equally invested.

This approach strengthens your bond, ensuring your friendship feels as satisfying as it is effortless, grounded in genuine affection and mutual engagement.

15. Being consistent—even when life gets busy

In the bustling ambiance of a cafe, imagine balancing life’s demands with a quick message to a friend. Consistency in friendship is like the steady beat of a drum, unwavering even amidst chaos. It shows that they remain a priority, regardless of life’s busyness.

By maintaining this consistency, you reassure them of your loyalty, reinforcing trust in your relationship. It doesn’t require grand gestures, just a simple acknowledgment of their importance.

This consistency weaves a fabric of reliability, making your friendship a comforting constant amid life’s unpredictability.

16. Making them feel safe to be fully themselves

In a sunlit room filled with the greenery of thriving plants, imagine the laughter shared with a friend who feels safe to be themselves. Creating such an accepting space invites authenticity and joy, where masks are unnecessary.

By encouraging this freedom, you nurture a friendship that celebrates individuality, allowing them to share their true self without fear of judgment. This acceptance grows a bond rooted in trust and empowerment.

This haven you provided an enriching connection, fostering a friendship where authenticity is met with warmth and understanding.

17. Supporting their boundaries with others, too

On a bustling street, imagine standing beside your friend, supporting their boundaries with others. It’s about backing them up, even when the conflict isn’t yours. By respecting their boundaries, you affirm your loyalty and understanding.

This solidarity reinforces the strength of your friendship, showing you respect their decisions and autonomy. It creates a united front where mutual support is unwavering. This backing nurtures a friendship where boundaries are honored, and loyalty is never in question.

18. Loving them out loud, not just assuming they know

Under the golden glow of a streetlamp, a picture expressing appreciation to a friend, your words are a comforting balm. Loving them out loud ensures they feel cherished, not just assumed. It’s about voicing your gratitude, making your affection tangible.

By articulating your feelings, you create a vibrant, open-hearted friendship that thrives on clear communication. It deepens your bond, where love and appreciation are freely exchanged.

This practice enriches your connection, ensuring your friendship blossoms with expressed affection and mutual respect.